When you cool your mind enough, then you ask your self: what on Earth could move the most powerful country in this planet to inflict such a devastating catastrophe on the poorest one around this hemisphere? I mean, it's like, can this people really be SUCH a bad guys? I know, I know they killed Kennedy and dropped the atom bomb on japanese civilian innocents and fabricated crooked evidences to go Lecter on Iraq's people, one of them even singing bomb bomb bomb/ bomb bomb bomb Iraq, merrily parodying Beach Boys' Barbara Ann and then running for POTUS office! Now, isn't that weird? But let us not be detoured from the original course of thought was having place here, I suggest, and let's focus for a while on the question proposed a few lines back: what on Earth could move etcetera? The radical ones stick to the possibility of it being nothing more than a josephmengelian curiosity type at work on the island, coldly inspiring HAARP's developers to test its power on the lives of those they consider less valuable among their neighboring countries. Just stretching the muscle a little, move along you weary folks, nothing to see here. Now again: isn't that weird? Just as weird could be, we shall all agree at this point, but so it was going nuke on Nagasaki and, hey, guess what?, it is now remembered as a Patriot Act.
Don't you see it , you folks- who- think- the- world- doesn't- move- though- we're- permanently- fast- traveling- through- space- at- wild- speed? Things are happening all the time! Just one tidy example to enlighten you on the subject: my woman (let's instantly correct the file: the woman I'm used to call mine) is letting me know right and exactly away at this moment she just can't stand to be around me anymore, telling me that if we still stay together for a while it will just be as a waiting compass until I find somewhere else to move to. Creepy news for a Sunday afternoon, dudes. “Somewhere else” meaning, what? What “waiting compass” stands for? Scary questions, but I intend not to ruin what could be left of my inner peace state of mind in this oh so sunny weekend winter evening trying to come to an unbearable and maybe not yet existing answer. By the way, this is not the first time I've been subjected to advices about finding somewhere else to live by the woman I love. I know it's stupid I keep thinking now and again about the lottery ticket I just bought yesterday and store now in my wallet. For, since all our argues are lately about money, what if, hey, bingo!, I result to be the jackpot winner? Would she still be whining and moaning about wanting me to move along and lecturing me on how she's lost all of her faith in what we could accomplish together as a married couple? No, I don't think so. We would suddenly find her faith level experiencing what's like to be on the rise, or what some would call a miracle- like awakening. People can be that bitch. And, again, I sure can be stupid enough to let my mind wander about dreamy jackpots and the like, preventing me from successfully meet the only task I should be working at any given moment: fully living the present to a degree of realness which fancy or silly wishes can't but blur. But, still, another one: she walks into the apartment to find me hanging from a rope tied at the bars' windows in the attic we share. I irrevocably would be dead by then and she knowing for an unmistakably sorry fact that she'll live the rest of her life with the unbearable guilt of having mercilessly pushed me over the brink and, thus, to the very end of my own and thoroughly screwed life. And then she goes crazy with endless grieve and deep sorrow, spending her own increasingly grayish days as an asylum inmate in Juniper Hill. Ta da! Just the regular bullshit any loser would appreciate spreading around.
But, hey, you know what?, being not more an official part of a settled couple --since this very moment staying together with my legal wife only while I find somewhere to move onto alone-- is kind of liberating. Because not seeing her as a settled wife (my wife) but only as a friend I casually am staying with for some days until I find a place I can call my own allows me to stop perceiving her each and every action as loaded with that heavy hurting and aggressive burden of subtexts and undermining under- meanings usually conceived in any one of the aforementioned actions. To indulge on the subject: have you ever wonder how many meanings can the silence be related to? Or the shifting semantics behind the calculated mouthing of a sentence by ways of shortening and extending over or under the average timing each syllable as to imply richly cultivated new meanings? Believe me, you won't ever have the chance to really appreciate the subtleness and the exquisiteness of that until you are into fully being married and you happen to be an emigrant ran out of job while there's a global economic crisis and the bills keep piling in your mailbox way up to the top. Isn't this the same kind of situations which have obliged so many losers to become published authors, even making the grades up to the NYT bestsellers top ten? One, specially me, would want to find this a true fact. Any need to insist you people should believe me on this one? I guess this is a stupid question as asking if Joe Six- Pack wants to become some day a millionaire.
You see, we were having an intelligent exchange here before unwanted but unavoidable external influences caused me to interrupt my, what we gonna call it, rambling talk on apocalyptic weaponry?, to inform you on matters which would rather seem very, very secondary to you as they really wont have any influence but in my own private life and, at a decreasing order as they are less closer to the core of events, the lives of very few other people. Say, there are signs and omen- like occurrences in my present time as to let me predict I'm about to go again through one of those so called turning points. Plenty and deeply into a when- uncertainty- becomes- the- mark- of- your- life moment. Say cheese.
And now I'm not talking earthquakes here. At least, not the public type one, that which destroys buildings and ruin cities, no. I mean here the ones shattering only your psychological foundations, and I guess you sure get my point, but, you see?, both type of this telluric and sub- telluric forces will finally get in touch, at least as much as they are merely having place at the same time. Oh, that confusion about time and space, it's gonna keep screwing us less we methodically approach and grasp mind blowing concepts such as the fourth dimension being a fundamental part of this reality show we call life, just to begin with. There's just much more ahead from where this notion came through. Land on it my friend: knowledge is not just a way to make us free but to also do us unhappy. Some say one should never be proud of ignorance, no matter how painful the learning processes or the means to cut the ignorance can be sometimes, how hard it is the struggle through the path to wisdom, knowledge and understanding, for here's a path that you have no excuse to refuse walking until reaching its very end. But that's ridiculous bullshit. I mean, how glad can you be to know first- handedly the dark pleasure experienced by the likes of those camp officers assigned to throw the Zylon gas cans into the hotly showered and fully packed death chambers? Or the satisfaction it can report to order a massive carpet air raid over Baghdad or Kabul, for another instance, knowing that while you kneel to pray with your wife in the Fuckal Office of the White House some peasants are being blown to pieces by some unmanned flying robot at your orders. Ain't some guys have really mind blowing and expensive toys? How about that to feel closer to being God? Not to talk about HAARP, that is.
I suppose I'm supposed to make some sense here, tying the scarcely enlightening notions I just brought about & adding to them what some would wishfully call a conclusion. But I'm through with coherence, folks. I just want this blog to be a way to heal. Who? Me.